By Chris Easter of TheManRegistry.com

You’ve got the engagement ring picked out. You know when you’re going to pop the question. Now all that’s left is to decide where and how you’re going to do it. Here’s our suggestions for romantic places to get down on one knee and pray she says yes (ignore the cliché’s and just go with it).

Location of your first date

How about a blast from the past?  Tell her you’re going to a “surprise destination” for a date night. She’ll be pleasantly surprised to arrive where you took her on that first date. She’ll be pleasantly shocked when you pull out the ring!

Cruise

We’re not talking about the 3-day weekend booze cruise to Mexico. Couples cruises are great for spending some 1 on 1 time and make the perfect opportunity for a proposal. We heard one story of a groom reserving en entire deck aboard the cruise ship for the engagement and then had the cruise director make an announcement at that night’s dinner. We expect nothing less from the groom-to-be’s reading this blog!

Anywhere where it’s raining

Try to make it look like an accident.

Hot-air balloon ride

You’re probably laughing because this is so cliché. But don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.  Word to the wise: These guys book up fast for some reason. So, if you’ve got a date in mind – book it fast.

Where you first met

Of course we’ve all seen this cheesily done in commercials or movies, but you can’t argue that it’s quite romantic. Whether it’s the mall, a bar or 8th grade science class – find a way to work it in. It’ll make for a great engagement story that will last a lifetime.

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Chris Easter is co-founder of TheManRegistry.com – the leading online resource for engaged men. The site offers a unique wedding registry for men, unique groomsman gifts and a wealth of content aimed at helping men make it through the wedding planning process in one piece. Chris also co-hosts ‘That Wedding Show‘ on the Wedding Podcast Network.

by Janice Wallace, Editor of The Bridal Wishlist

One of my newest obsessions is finding beautiful salvaged jewelry, especially multi-strand necklaces with big baubles. So I was in awe of Loyale Clothing’s gorgeous Emily necklace made from 100% reclaimed gold chain + vintage chandelier crystals. Yes, I did say “vintage chandelier crystals.” Brilliant, right? A fab finishing touch to your wedding attire. Get it at Loyale Clothing.

by Janice Wallace, Editor of The Bridal Wishlist

I recently had the pleasure of attending “A Chic Affair” last Sunday at the Longview Gallery in D.C. It truly was a chic affair. One of the most memorable vendors was Treet Bakery. I sampled the most delish mini cupcakes, as well as, one of their delightful Pretty Petty Petit Fours.

What was more amazing was Theresa’s (Treet’s Chief Sweetness Officer) commitment to incorporating green practices in her baking by using fresh ingredients from local farms. In addition, Treet packages their goodies in 100% recycled and/or compostable packaging, deliver their “treets” in a hybrid vehicle, and will soon work in an office that will run on clean wind power. For me, Treet Bakery puts its money where its mouth is. That’s my kind of bakery.

To find our more about Treet or just to order goodies for your stash, visit their web site.

Thanks to Katie for allowing me to sit in while she is working hard to make this world a better place. You can see what I am blogging about weekdays on my blog, The Bridal Wishlist. Have a great weekend!

Instead of saying “Does that mean you want to use that cardboard –like paper?” in a horrified voice, you suck in your breath and say “Why what a wonderful way to let everyone know you are thinking about the environment.  We can look together to find a beautiful alternative to what I’d always envisioned your invitation to be.”.

You might want to suggest to your daughter that the two of you go look at invitation books at the local fine paper store where they offer a service of  creating your invitations with custom letterpress.  Once you get the ‘feel’ of what is out there, you can cruise around online.

A benefit of letterpress invitations, stationery or announcements is the fact that most letterpress machines require a heavy, cotton-based (read: tree-free) paper to produce their lovely indentations. In addition,  it takes a lot of ‘human power’ to create the die cuts for personalized orders. Thus, letterpress products are usually “green” and offer less of a carbon footprint than other printing alternatives.

Here’s a pretty design from traditional fine paper company: William Arthur www.williamarthur.com

Letterpress Dogwood Branch Wedding Invitation

A lovely branch of leaves and dogwood blooms drapes around the wording area on this ecru invitation.  The branch is letterpress printed in Fern green ink and you can coordinate or contrast your text ink color.  Letterpress printing creates a soft timeless look, which just might be perfect for your wedding. Each personalized invitation comes with a matching ecru envelope. Double envelopes can be selected during the envelope personalization process.  Reception cards and Reply notes can be ordered as well.

You’ve come to terms with not doing the ‘traditional’ invite, so why not do something really different and fun? I found this wonderful design by Staccato on etsy.com

Kristy

Beautiful cocoa colored monogram adorns the top of a pale blue double thickness cotton paper. The invitation is further embellished by a thick chocolate satin ribbon and a shining crystal brooch. To make sure the invitation arrives beautiful condition, it is mailed in a sturdy chocolate box.  Set will include:
Letterpressed and embellished pale blue invitation
Letterpressed pale blue respond card & envelope
Mailing box in chocolate brown
Shimmery ivory wrap-around label
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Box, ribbon, ink, and paper colors can all be changed.  Invitation prices start at $15 but can vary based on your quantity, options, and inserts.

You can encourage your daughter to go as upscale as she would like if your budget allows.  If you really think about it…it would be a good thing to use more paper with your invitation ‘bundle’ if you are using tree free and post-consumer recycled papers.  It’s actually better to go for a lush effect. Then, just maybe, more people will be inspired to use these papers.

AH HA!  – Perhaps you (and your husband) will become a bit more green in your thinking as well. 

Just maybe more trees will be saved which would = Beauty and Responsibility. Win -

Win. YAY!

MoB Claudia Van Veen

]]> http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/what-do-you-mean-the-invitations-are-going-to-be-green%e2%80%a6does-that-mean-you-are-using-that-cardboard-like-paper/feed/ 1 http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/mother-of-the-bride-wednesdays-2/ http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/mother-of-the-bride-wednesdays-2/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:00:59 +0000 Claudia Van Veen http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/?p=2500 What if the ‘in-laws’ are insufferable? Remember your Miss Manners!

Oh boy.  It’s time to meet the groom’s parents…your daughter has mentioned a few little skirmishes but you have been brushing them aside in hopes she just has a ‘case of the nerves’ whenever she’s around one or both of the groom’s parents.

Even though there are a lot of wonderful ‘stories’ out there about meeting the future relatives there are a few that make one shudder…below are two true stories from people I know! (ya can’t make this stuff up):

Story#1.   Things are not what they seemed to be.

Lydia and Mark are going to meet the groom’s family at a big party to be held at their townhouse in downtown Baltimore’s very posh Mount Vernon historic neighborhood.

Expecting regular ‘northern city type people’, they were jaw-dropping shocked when the door was opened by the mother who, according to Deana (the bride), changed overnight.   The groom and his parents had never ever mentioned nor acted as though they followed any particular religion.  The mother had always dressed very normally and talked about everyday things and wedding plans everytime she’d been around her.  Well, not this time!  Surprise! The Mother of the Groom opened the door wearing high heels, crop pants, peasant blouse pulled off the shoulders showing off some large ta tas – hair gone platinum, pulled up on top of her head and BIG plastic earrings.  It was as though the mother had stepped back into 70s Miami style – her big blond Bette Midler look.  And all the sudden – everything is kosher which was strange since the last time Deana was there they had a lovely pork roast.  The bride was Baptist.  The shock wasn’t so much the kosher take as was the total makeover the groom’s mom had done.   Of course, it didn’t help that they started pushing that she convert – even the groom started to push her to do so a couple of weeks later.  The poor bride to be simply could not understand where all this came from.

The point of this story? The bride’s mom behaved like a lady – elbowed her husband in the side a couple of times , took everything in stride and calmed her daughter down through a very emotional, roller-coaster of an evening.  That’s part of your job.

Story #2.  Bad manners.

A friend’s daughter worked for a news organization and while she worked there she became very close with a quite famous reporter who is well-known for being out-spoken about her political leanings.  The reporter and the family became quite close and so when ‘Christine’ became engaged, the reporter most graciously threw the engagement party for her at a middle-eastern restaurant in downtown DC.   The groom’s parents (who lived in a state to our south) arrived (1^st time the Mother of the Bride ‘Josie’ was to meet this couple)…the family greeted them warmly and led them to the table of honor where the bride and groom, the mother of the bride, the bride’s brother and his wife and the groom’s parents and the groom’s sister were to sit AND the reporter, of course.  Place cards and everything…right there on the table.  The groom’s mother froze and stated that she absolutely would not sit at the table with THAT woman (the reporter) and moved over to another table and sat with friends that had driven up with them.  (Guess she thought that the reporter’s politics might contaminate her).  My friend was infuriated but as a very gracious mother of the bride (she was sure the reporter’s feelings would be hurt) made as though that was such a kind thing the groom’s parents did…to sit with the friends from out-of –town so they wouldn’t feel so isolated.

The point of this story? This bride’s mom swallowed her anger and made a very uncomfortable situation seem smooth as silk.  Again…good manners and the ability to turn around a sticky condition can save the day or night.   (Look for another story about Josie’s nemesis soon under Groom’s gifts.)

Happy Planning!

~Claudia Van Veen

]]> http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/mother-of-the-bride-wednesdays-2/feed/ 0 http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/10-things-that-every-groom-to-be-should-know/ http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/10-things-that-every-groom-to-be-should-know/#comments Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:30:27 +0000 Chris Easter http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/?p=2487

by guest blogger chris easter of themanregistry.com

The days of grooms being stereotyped as bumbling idiots are long gone. Today’s grooms are well-informed and involved when it comes to wedding planning.  Whether it’s coordinating wedding day attire, planning a groom-friendly wedding shower, or designing invitations for the rehearsal dinner, the modern groom is a far cry from the “leave me out of this”-minded man-child  whose only duty was to show up and smile for photos.

The groom’s side of the wedding has evolved into an arena for the man to leave his own personal mark on the planning of the wedding. Here are The Man Registry’s top 10 list of things every groom (and his  bride-to-be) should keep in mind while planning the big day.

10. Marriage license: Don’t wait until the last minute

It seems so simple. All you have to do is go to the courthouse, answer some questions, and be presented with your marriage license. Not so fast. You need to be familiar with your state’s requirements and waiting periods.  Most importantly, don’t wait until the last minute! This may seem like a minor last-minute item on the to-do list, but without it you can’t legally be married.

9. Writing vows: Leave a personal mark on the ceremony

Many of today’s grooms are leaving the stock vows behind and penning their own unique commitment words for the bride. If you’ve decided to go this route, remember to include your intentions for marriage, what marriage and commitment means to you, and state the promises  you intend to keep.

8. Wedding bands: When and what to look for

Just what a guy wants. He’s already shelled out for an engagement ring and now he has to make another trip back to the jeweler to select weddings bands.  Do some research beforehand and decide if you’ll be looking for matching bands or something unique. It’s recommended to have the bands picked out a minimum of three months in advance of the wedding. This leaves time for them to be ordered, shipped, and re-sized, if needed.

7. The wedding party: Whom to select

Most grooms have a solid gut feeling on whom they’ll select as their Best Man. This is usually a brother or other life-long friend. It’s considered courtesy to include your soon-to-be brother in laws in the wedding party as well. Depending on how many groomsmen/bridesmaids there will be, there’s always room for more friends to serve as ushers. A common rule of thumb to remember is one usher per 50 guests.

6. Bachelor Party: It’s not just about beer anymore

When you heard the words bachelor party, common thoughts have always been bars, beer, and more beer. This isn’t necessarily the case today. Adventure and destination bachelor parties are all the rage for today’s weddings. Many grooms are trading in visits to the night clubs for golf outings, camping trips, and even sky-diving.  Some couples are even having joint bachelor/bachelorette weekends that involve a weekend trip to wine country or a beach house.

5. Wedding day attire: Stay on top of things

What the groom and groomsmen wear on the wedding day is usually coordinated with the wedding colors and bridesmaids’ dresses. Men who are taking an active role in the selection of attire should think about whether they want a tux or suit, the style and color, and whether they’re renting or buying. Arranging tuxedo rental can be tricky, especially if you have a large wedding party. You need to make sure everyone is measured and picks up their tuxes on time. The last thing you want is one of your groomsmen showing up in a tux that doesn’t fit (or not showing up in a tux at all). It’s also a courtesy for the groom to pick up the cost of the tux rental for the fathers.

4. Groomsmen gifts: Flask, cuff links, or money clip?

If you’ve ever been a member of a wedding party, then you know it’s standard for the groom to present his attendants with a gift to thank them for being a part of the big day. Many grooms opt for a practical, engraved gift that can be put to use (think business card holder, cuff links, or watch). However, just as the groom’s roles in wedding planning have evolved, so have groomsmen gifts. Creativity is key for men today as popular gifts have become tickets to sporting events, bottles of aged wine, and even weekend excursions (with the groom footing the bill).

3. Wedding speeches: Toasting with class

One of the scariest things for the groom is to stand up in front of friends and family and toast his new wife.  Statistics say that public speaking is the No. 1 fear of Americans (even beating out death)! One of the best ways to quash the nerves is to apply the age-old adage of practice, practice, practice. Here’s a quick guide for preparing for a successful toast:

·        Thank everyone for attending.

·        Keep humor to a minimum (we all know the gut-busting toasts are reserved for the best man).

·        Thank your wedding party and both sets of parents for their support on the special day.

·        Close with words directed at your new wife. We can’t tell you what to say, but say it from the heart (obviously).

2. The groom’s cake: A cake that’s all about the groom

Yes, you read that correctly. The groom’s cake is a themed wedding dessert that’s selected and paid for by the groom and his family. The theme is generally styled after a major interest or hobby in the groom’s life.  Some examples include a favorite sports team logo or a past-time such as fishing, fixing up cars, or traveling. The groom’s cake is often served at the reception along with the main wedding cake (just make sure it’s smaller in stature than the main cake), but can also be served for dessert at the rehearsal dinner.

1. Groom showers: In the name of equality

It’s definitely not your parents wedding shower. Instead of place settings, bath towels, and platters, the gifts given at a groom-friendly shower are power tools, speakers, and BBQ equipment. It’s become common for a couple to have at least one couples or “man” shower during their engagement. Popular shower themes include backyard and garden, home improvement, and bar and grill. The best part: These are gifts that both the groom and bride will enjoy.

—

Chris Easter is co-founder of TheManRegistry.com – the leading online resource for engaged men. The site offers a unique wedding registry for men, groomsmen gift ideas and a wealth of content aimed at helping men make it through the wedding planning process in one piece. You can check out The Man Registry on Twitter and Facebook.

Scenario #1: You are only paying for a few items of the wedding. Your daughter and her fiancé are paying for the venue and the dinner and they are trying to keep within their budget.  Everywhere they’ve looked that they like is waaay over their budget, so they sheepishly show up for Sunday dinner and suggest your house since you do have a wonderful area for entertaining inside and a large backyard with some big trees and neighbors that don’t have ‘tacky’ yards.  On 1^st thought, this sounds like a really nice way for everyone to save some money! YAY!

Whoa, though!  You and your husband need to really take a good look around the inside of the house where guests might wander and the outside – not only the yard itself but the exterior of the house – need new shutters?  Shingles looking faded? Never did get that patio finished?  Haven’t opened the pool for the last two years?  Inside: floors – need new carpet or does the hardwood need refinishing?  Have you been putting off getting the kitchen redone since the stock market played havoc with your finances (the reason you aren’t paying for everything)? Bathrooms – major stains in sinks or on the ceramic tile?  Did the bath upstairs leak through the ceiling in the guest bath on the 1^st floor?  Would you need to go ahead and buy a new sofa or get the dining room table refinished, paint the downstairs (which would lead to more décor changes), chimney swept, new window treatment and have the backyard professionally landscaped?  Hire a tent person, rent chairs and tables, hire someone to make an altar are for the service itself?  By the time you add everything up, you might be spending much more than renting one of the ‘best’ places available.  If a venue rents for $6000.00 against that $20,000-$45,000 to ‘fix’ the house in order to be ready for the wedding…then perhaps you might want to steer the couple somewhere else.  Don’t forget…this wedding will have its stressors but a lot more might be piled on if it were to be held at your home.

Scenario #2. What if the newly engaged couple suggests the wedding should be held at his home?  Whew!  That would let you off the hook.  But then, ‘they (his parents)’ might be calling most of the shots, wouldn’t they?   Hmmm.  It is your daughter’s wedding.  But, don’t forget, it is their son’s wedding too.  Of course, the reality is that no matter how well you get along with the new ‘in-laws’, there is the location ownership factor to be considered.  In the end, it just might not matter one whit.  However, all of you should consider that aspect before his parents are approached.

Scenario #3. Different types of locations to consider:

Destination wedding….hope you don’t mind if we leave this one for another blog post!

Guest list 75 people. The wedding could be held at a location such as Woodend which offers a MD country setting that is relaxed yet elegant. With its classic Greek portico, sweeping lawns, and spacious, high-ceilinged rooms, Woodend provides a beautiful setting. They do have a list of caterers they allow on property.

Guest list is 180. Perhaps you’ll consider an historic building in DC such as the very elegant Decatur House Museum? As the first neighboring residence to the White House, dating to 1818, the Decatur House is one of the oldest surviving homes in Washington, DC. It sits right on Lafayette Park which can provide the most wonderful backdrop of the White House for outside photos of the wedding party before the event.  Twenty-foot vaulted ceilings top the spacious ballroom, decorated in neutral tones, and the wall of windows and French doors bring the brick courtyard into view.

(Note: if it is held here, then the bride and groom might want to consider spending their wedding night at the Hay Adams Hotel which is only a block away…they can walk there after the reception. Wedding guests with sparklers to send them on their way could form a double line for the couple to walk through.)

Guest list 450 of your nearest and dearest friends, your ex-husband and his wife’s friends, the couples’ friends and co-workers (he is a Congressman – so security is an issue too), his mother and her husband’s friends, his father and his wife’s friends and although you only have 3 children, his family has a blended brood of 8 siblings and their families…plus the bride wants it to be spectacular and in DC!    OK – there are quite a few places to choose from…we really are lucky to have locations that can handle large crowds (remember the inaugural balls/dinners). There is the National Building Museum or how about the Ronald Reagan Building where you can have a reception in the Woodrow Wilson Plaza and the dinner/dancing inside.

One note of caution:  For a wedding/reception to be held in DC or the wedding in VA or MD and the reception in DC – don’t forget about traffic and where will the guests park?   You might want to consider hiring a valet service that will handle all that for you!

Rather than having to run all over town looking at 10-15 sites and think of all the multitude of items for “THE LIST”…might it be better to choose a really wonderful wedding planner?  And might it also be wonderful to choose one that can ‘green’ your daughter’s wedding?  Try the Washington, DC Green Wedding Consortium!

Happy Planning!
~Claudia Van Veen

Madonna and 1^st Lady Michelle Obama have sent the message that toned, taunt upper arms can be within reach for other 40-somethings and older.  That message has been helped along by other celebrities who have passed their 40th birthday, yet remain virtually flab-free. The list includes Sarah Jessica Parker, Ellen Barkin, and Mary Tyler Moore. Mrs. Obama, of course, posed in a sleeveless sheath for her official White House photograph.

Celebrities aside, can a determined 50+ year-old woman pump her way to 30-year-old arms?  Probably not. Why? With age, the skin and the connective tissue start to lose elasticity and you have more sagging. There is likely to be more flab underneath a 50-year-old bicep than a 30-year-old one.  And, as active as a 50+, or 60+ can be, it’s a good bet they’re still not as active as 30-somethings who are often running after children in addition to squeezing in formal workout time.

Ok – then there are those of us who should never, ever show any upper arm (women of substance-especially older ones). But, guess what- there are worse things.

This takes the 80s puffy-sleeved bridesmaid dress way too far.    Don’t go overboard hiding those upper arms!.

And then, what about that other problem area? “Old elbows,” she told me.”A woman’s elbows always give her age away.” — Nora Raleigh Baskin (What Every Girl (Except Me) Knows)

Who woulda thought they’d be such tattletales of our age?  Sagging, aging elbows show rings (like a tree!) and can ruin a wonderful put together look. Check out Posh’s!

And she’s nowhere near being a mother of the bride!   Ladies – our elbows show age 1^st and are much harder to remember to take care of.   And even if you did – there just comes a time when you can’t hide the aging look unless you have elbow cosmetic surgery.  Hmmm, think I’d rather spend my money somewhere else, wouldn’t you?

Here are a few tips to keep the skin there taut and supple:

1. Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate! A good chemical exfoliant like glycolic acid would do the trick.  Unlike the face, the elbows are not sensitive and can stand higher percentage of acid.  (Try biting someone’s elbow, I swear they won’t feel a thing! And no, I DON’T know anyone who will let me bite their elbow ;>) If you lack the resources to buy glycolic acid– cut a lemon in half, rub on to elbows, and leave the juice and rind on there for 5 minutes, rinse.  I don’t recommend physically scrubbing the elbows too hard as you’ll just pull at the skin.

2. Moisturize! Again, people forget to moisturize the elbows.  Use dermatologist recommended Cetaphil!  Eye cream is good too if you can afford to buy box loads of La Mer eye cream to rub on your elbows like Kimora Lee Simmons does.

3. Sunscreen! Yes, the elbows suffer from sun damage everytime you drive, walk outside or play tennis.  We use sunscreen all over our face and body but most of us neglect to protect our elbows!

Ok – what to do if you don’t have time or the inclination to work really hard on those areas? Cover them up! At the pre-parties, the wedding, and the brunch after!

Moms!  This look is perfect for those two pesky problems. Coppery hand-beaded French lace blouse with a web design, worn over an Italian faille strapless mermaid gown, about $2,700, by Stephen Yearick,  is a very glamorous look.

Or this beautiful Cameron Blake creation is lovely –

No matter what your budget, there are a lot of gorgeous outfits out there that will cover those two areas we just don’t think of often enough.

Happy Planning!

Claudia Van Veen

In the movie ”True Love,” a caterer persuades the beleaguered young couple to serve sky-blue mashed potatoes to match the bridesmaids’ dresses. ”You should feel that anything’s possible,” he says.

But, if you (and your husband – the step-father) love to go out to good restaurants, have attended many events and know something about the caterers in your area, or perhaps the bride or groom worked in a professional kitchen, or attended gourmet cooking classes or have seen Julia and Julia 5 times and own all her cookbooks, then the emphasis changes from gussied up food to fabulous tasting food.  So no matter how the scenario plays, you choose a caterer and then have THE TASTING.

Wedding Dinner meal tastings can be fraught with peril…so before you start, here is the etiquette that goes along with tastings.

1. Get quotes from your various caterers, compare and then choose not more than 3.   Ask if they are conducting any tastings for groups/ do they have linens/table set ups to look at?
2. Is your budget limited or is the “sky’s the limit”? A good caterer can give you great suggestions for either type or one smack dab in the middle.
3. After you’ve made the decision of which caterer, then set up a date to have the tasting.
4. Ask how many people you are allowed to bring, (do not bring more!).
5. Tell them any dislikes prior to the tasting…if you really hate couscous ask them to leave it off…also let them know of any food allergies for people attending the tasting. Will you be having vegetarians attending?  Let your account rep know prior to the tasting so there can be something included for those people at the wedding itself.
6. At the tasting- be clear and specific on what you like and don’t like…you won’t hurt their feelings (just do it tactfully). The sauce has anise? And you detest it? They can change sauces, leave off items you or the bride/groom dislike etc. That’s what tastings with a good caterer are for…it gives you an opportunity to modify the menu.
7. Ask to see photos of their work,  ask about staff attire, staff ratios etc

Obviously, a great wedding planner will help guide you and your daughter through all of this! (www.eleganceandsimplicity.com – of course!)

OK- here’s an overview: You and your husband are paying for the wedding location (venue), the cocktail reception and the dinner.  You have decided on French service (French service refers to having a waiter serve the food onto each guests plate for each course as opposed to bringing out plates with the food already placed on it.) The caterer will let you bring 7 people to the tasting.  So it’s you, your husband – (fella with the buckys), the bride and groom, his parents, and a friend whose judgment both you and your daughter respect.

You will be given a list of the dishes to be served and a pen/pencil to rate which you like the best down to the least favorite.  The appetizers are served by a staff waiter; 2 seafood, 2 beef, etc., everyone raves (or not) over each piece, then you all are seated and in comes the soup (3 different tiny cups) – much discussion ensues over the soup.  Then the salad…one’s a crisp green, one is a blanched pear that is ‘too die for’ – all the women LOVE it – the men – not so much.

And then two beef, two seafood, chicken and pork entrees with wonderful sides…everyone is in heaven!  Stuffed!  (They even serve a lovely lemon sorbet to cleanse the palate between courses.) No cake will be served since your cake will come from another source.  But being the classy caterer they are, they do bring in some divine chocolates for ‘the final’ taste.   They offer reg. coffee and espresso…

Then the discussion and ratings begin of each of the items each person tasted.  Whew…got the appetizers decided, MUCH discussion again about the soup.  The women INSIST on the pear salad…and your husband is burning under the collar about the soup!  He wants what he wants especially if he’s giving in on the darn pear salad!  You whisper to your friend (the respected one) and then, you pipe up “If your step-father is going to pay for this wedding, he gets to choose the soup!” WHOA…everyone looks at you like you are an ogre….BUT no one disagrees.  The rest of the choices come easily. And thus – you’ve made it through the tasting. And he feels like he won a battle…probably the only one he will win. ;>) Ahhh, but such wonderful food…you can’t wait for the wedding, knowing the choice is perfect for your friends and their friends (bride and groom and his parents). YAY!

~Claudia Van Veen

OK – OK – they are not anything like the girdles some of us had to wear way back when. (Yes, it’s true – flight attendants did have fanny checks to make sure they had their girdle on!)  These new ‘helpers’ are really somewhat comfortable.  Many society mavens and regular (you and me) people now swear by Spanx, the moderately priced innovation of Sara Blakely, who has been widely credited with reintroducing girdling to the masses, thanks to comfortable fabrics; cheeky packaging; 100 different styles that reach as far up as the shoulder and as low as the ankle and eliminating the flabby overflow known as “muffin top”; back bulge, pear thighs, flat butt, and on and on.  There are plenty of celebrity endorsements, too! Oprah was an early convert (“Spanx really changed the way I wore clothes. … I’ve given up panties,” she once told her audience) and Gwyneth Paltrow owned up to wearing two pairs at a time after giving birth.  One of the funniest bits of comedy I’ve ever seen was in Wanda Sykes’ HBO special “I’ma be Me” where she discusses her love/hate relationship with Spanx…

Spanx for the Memory!

Gwyneth Paltrow, Oprah Winfrey, Jessica Alba all swear by high-tech power panties.  By Drew Friedman (As seen in the New York Observer)

Mom, mothers, and grandmothers – we all want to look our best during all the festivities and these wonderful things can help you do just that. The right fit can take up to 10 lbs off that body of yours and even if you are pretty trim, check your look from the back full length in the mirror…see anything that surprises you…dismays you?  Time for the Spanx!

Other brands?  Annette,  Sassybax (cute name), Miraclesuit (don’t we all need one?), Yummie Tummie…(way too cute), ASSETS by Sara Blakely (for you flat bottomed friends), and plain ole Wacoal.

Do you have back fat?

Try this one: Annette Diva Divined shaping slip

Or belly fat?

Give this type a chance: Miraclesuit.  They offer several styles – one of which is: Extra-Firm Control Strapless Body Briefer  (but straps do come with it  – AND it come in sizes from 34B to 42 DD

There is now even a line of Haute Couture Spanx at Saks Fifth Avenue and Nordstrom’s.

It is suggested that those who find the neo-girdles uncomfortable are probably just wearing too small a size. “You don’t want to smash your butt; you just want to organize things.”

A woman stands up a little straighter when one wears shapewear. For instance, Assets by Sara Blakely could give you Mannequin Rear End. It won’t billow like it’s full of water. It just won’t move.

Forget the scenes from St. Elmo’s Fire and Bridget Jones’s Diary, of plump heroines being seduced and then summarily mocked by men who encounter their BIG Girl panties?  MOBs – you are dressing for the beginning, middle and end of the day/evening…not the ‘afterwards’.  Your spouse/significant other will just be pleased you looked so nice.  Don’t have one of those??  Who cares…you’ll be pleased for yourself, girl!

~Claudia Van Veen

Featuring Dresses from Punk Rock Bride & The Cotton Bride! Get an up close look at the dress on the cover of our magazine Eco-Beautiful Weddings!

Get some free goodies from The Knot!

We have Emily Newman from the amazing Once Wed blog:

Nole Garey from O So Beautiful Paper Blog:

Danielle Freedman & Devon Pearce from District Weddings:

Amy Jean Chung from Weddzilla & The Relentless Bride (who is getting married herself in March):

Custom Garter Gal Julianne Smith will be there!

Valet Parking will be provided by Marc Parc!

We have an amazing set of gifts to giveaway – stay tuned for that blog post!!!

Register today and get 25% off the registration fee by entering the discount code “DCCWC25″ in the discount code area.

The following vendors from the DC Couture Wedding Consortium will be present:

Wedding Planners

Elegance & Simplicity, Inc.

Bella Notte

Something Fabulous

Caterers

Occasions Caterers

Photographers

Documentary Associates

Baltazar Photography

The Observatory

Cake Designers

Cake by Design

Kendall’s Cakes

Mallowdrama

Music & Entertainment

MSE Productions

Disc Jockeys On Call

Bialek’s Music

Videography

Jessica Pi Productions

Blue Sky Films

Marry Me Live

Rental Companies

Ampa Events

Sugar Plum Tent Company

Table Manners

Hair & Make-up

Elegant Hair by Giselle

Carola Myers

Wedding Style Consultants

Polished Image & Style

Invitations

Presentations

]]> http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/announcements/dccwc-2nd-annual-bridal-show-at-the-decatur-house/feed/ 5 http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/mother-of-the-bride-wednesdays-budget/ http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/mother-of-the-bride-wednesdays-budget/#comments Wed, 06 Jan 2010 19:44:59 +0000 Katie Martin http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/?p=1954 DREADED WORD:

BUDGET

or

WHO IS PAYING FOR WHAT

The old fashioned wedding where the mother and father of the bride pay for everything and the mother gets to choose most of the things is certainly not dead but we do live in a different world now.  Sometimes the bride (or groom) has a higher income than the mother or the father combined or perhaps she’s from a divorced family…where the mother has remarried and so has the father.  So, who to listen to and how to make everyone happy is a very stressful situation for your child!   Whether it ends up that we (mother & father) pay, they (the couple) pay,  they #2 (the in-laws-to-be),  the mother only, the father only or any other the multitude of combinations one could think up pays for this wonderful event, here’s your chance to be the best mom in the world .   If she/he hasn’t already asked you, suggest that you and she (and groom if she insists) meet or schedule a conference call to talk about who pays for what before too many lists are made.

If she lives in a different city/town or if you know you physically can’t meet a lot, it just might be the best thing in the world for both of you to invest in Skype.    Skype voice and video calling, IM and SMS are now available for your pc, laptop, blackberry, and more importantly – the video calls are free!  Of course you need to buy the equipment:

Webcam and a headset (if they are not already part of your laptop or PC’s hardware):

So, how are these ‘delicate’ conversations discussed and decided upon?  In all likelihood, your daughter will have already thought about this before you two speak.   If not, then prepare yourself.  Buy a book (of course, I’m a little bit prejudiced here).

Before you meet with her, have a discussion with your husband (and/or ex) about where the money is going to come from?

Savings account for her wedding?

Refinance the house?

Sell a piece of property?

Ask the Uncle?

Make a list of what you really, really want to pay for and listen to her about what she wants you to pay for.  If your budgets say ‘not possible’, then be upfront right then and there.  On the other hand, if you want to pay for more, then suggest that to her.  She will let you know if that suggestion is welcomed or ‘just not gonna happen’.

First thing everyone (brides and grooms, mothers and dads) needs to decide is the approximate date.  A wise mom will suggest they chose 3-4 dates (in case something cannot be canceled or a favored venue is booked).

The time of the year can sometimes influence the cost of parts of the wedding.

Then, will it be formal or informal, maximum number of guests and attendants, if any.  Is this a wedding at the magistrate’s office?  Family only?

Or the closest 300 friends of the couple and parents.

Brides friends, groom’s friends, their friends.

Bride’s parent’s friends (could be 2 couples involved here).

His parent’s friends (could be 2 couples involved here, too).

You and your daughter (step-daughter) have many decisions to make – so try to be as gracious as possible and really listen to what the bride and groom want (and his parents).  If something is really, really important for her to include in the plans…just mention that ‘it would make you so happy if they could ….’  But please, please try to prepare your mind before each and every meeting about the wedding to

Listen

Use diplomacy (“oh honey, that sounds so fab… but XYZ… – what would you two think of that”!).

Be prepared to guide if asked and be quiet if not asked. (Can’t tell you how many times I opened my mouth and clamped it shut – and it all worked out just fine!)  If an argument starts, back down…there will be another meeting and by then things might have changed.  The most important thing you can do is smile and genuine smiles break most barriers! After all of you determine what kind of budget you can work with, then you can settle down to have the fun of planning the most important day of your little girl’s life.

Congratulations!
~Claudia Van Veen

“He’s got horrible teeth! Why hasn’t he gone to the dentist?”

Instead, you might say (in front of them both)  ”Boy, I think I’d better start working on getting these teeth whitened…maybe all of us should…just think of all the photos!…

…Wonder if the antibiotics (tetracycline) I’ve had to take are the reason my teeth have gotten so yellow? (You nor the groom smoke or ‘chew’ and you are wondering why his teeth are so yucky).  Wonder if I should have the dentist fix that gap I’ve been talking about for years!  And your dad’s teeth are horrible, too…

…Why don’t we see if we can go as a group and get a discount!”

Really, ask your dentist if he would do a group discount – some will.

What are your teeth whitening options & costs?

• Implants – we are talking money here! Time, as well –$1,250-$3,000 each, but the total cost can escalate to $15,000-$30,000 DentalResources.com.
• Crowns- (also called caps) cost $500-$3,000 a tooth
• Composite resin and porcelain veneers –  So, do you have bridges?  Then, as you probably are aware, with time your natural teeth change color from the bridge color.  With either of these permanent solutions, all your teeth will be the same color.  Traditional porcelain veneers are about .5 millimeters thick, and cost around $500-$1,100 each; the Lumineers® brand is.2 to .3mm thin (like a contact lens) and runs $700-$1,300
• Opalescence whitening cost: $500 (fronts of all teeth)
• Britesmile whitening cost: At dental offices, prices vary around the country. At BriteSmile centers, $600; $399, if payment is made in advance
• Drugstore – Toothpaste maker’s whitening strips - $23 – $46 (depending on how yellow they are)
• If money is a factor and you want to ‘go green’ about the yellow – then here’s a little tip:   Make your own whitener at home (Click here)l Cost?  $2-$5

Ok – so this takes care of the teeth issue and brides really do need to have beautiful white teeth – they are the star of the party and everyone will be looking at their smile.  But his teeth are important too!

(And wouldn’t it be nice to hear “she gets her smile from her mother”!)

Don’t forget to sign into our blog post about the $250 giveaway in March- let us know why your mom is the best!  Click here!

Happy Holidays,

Claudia Van Veen

Okay – you know the drill already from all of your friends’ children’s weddings…you are going to have to spend or redo or fix up the wardrobe!  Not just for the wedding but for the rehearsal dinner, the engagement party, the showers, etc.  Of COURSE, you are going to lose weight, get your teeth whitened, get a mini face-lift, have a tummy tuck but how about NEW FEET?  If you are under 55 or so, you probably will be fine for a few hours in high heels…but if you are not and you feel like you just have to wear your “big girl”, “going-out-on-the-town” ,“your legs have to look good” shoes…then what are you going to do about your inability to actually wear those type shoes for more than the 10 minutes it takes to walk into the front door and sit down?   How on earth are you going to DANCE in heels? Even if you don’t plan on dancing, your daughter’s new husband will be obligated to ask you to dance at least one time and probably his father as well.

If you, like most of the women out there, don’t want to spend over $100 for a pair of shoes that feels a little bit roomy and has some platform cushioning, place a Dr. Scholl’s instep for sandals/open toe heels in them.

However, if you are willing to spend more for your feet, then here are a couple of wonderful shoes.   This Cole Haan shoe has NIKE AIR Technology in the heel and forepart for cushioning and comfort and also happens to be a fully dyeable silk.

Or check out this entire line of shoes created out of necessity by a diabetic woman desperate for fashionable shoes (Dana Davis).

Both brands of shoes are available at Nordstrom’s. Wish I’d known about these shoes when Katie got married– that way I wouldn’t have had to cart a second pair of shoes with me everywhere!  Wanted to tell you about this now since we are getting into shoe sale season. See you next week!  Have questions?  Ask away!

Happy Thanksgiving!

~Claudia Van Veen

Our 2nd Annual Luxury Bridal Event registration has gone live – register today!

The Washington DC Couture Wedding Consortium
Presents

The 2nd Annual Luxury Bridal Show

Couture Gown Collections by

The Cotton Bride
&
Punk Rock Bride

FEATURED LIVE BLOGGERS
Devon Pearce & Danielle Freedman, District Weddings
Emily Newman, Once Wed
Amy Jean Chung, Weddzilla & The Relentless Bride
Nole Garey, Oh So Beautiful Paper

2.06.2010

Stephen Decatur House Museum
1-4 pm | $35.00

Register by clicking here!

]]> http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/announcements/register-early-we-have-limited-space/feed/ 2 http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/what-to-give-when/ http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/what-to-give-when/#comments Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:08:35 +0000 Katie Martin http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/?p=1370 Weekly Mother of the Bride Post!

Your daughter is engaged!  So many things to do!  Where to start?  Start with a master list of all the lists! Then break that down into sub-lists.  Since there will be parties (lots of them), engagement parties, showers, holidays and gifts on the day to the bride and to the groom (don’t forget one for your daughter’s fiance’s parents), one of your lists should be What Gift to Give When.

Here are a few ideas to start with and keep in mind:

Engagement gift: Perhaps something cherished that your mother or grandmother gave you or barring that, perhaps some beautiful toasting flutes:  One lovely set in a moderate range is Vera Wang’s Love Knots Toasting Flutes (shown above) or perhaps flutes from Swarovski  (shown below) for a look at a higher end pair. You can find a wide selection at Crystal Classics.

It is fun to make up a basket of smaller gifts to give at a Bridal shower. Find a large pretty basket with a handle (at any home decor goods store).  Or since we are in the holiday season and there might be a shower, find one of those huge white plush stockings. Then look for unusual things to fill it with. The holiday season brings lots of sales!  Stock up on things that you will need for all the various parties you will need to attend and gift for over the next several months (or weeks).

Well, this is a start to your “gifting” list and it is my very first blog as a guest blogger on my daughter’s blog!  Guess what?  It’s a lot of fun…hope you like my ideas!  Leave a question or a comment in the comment section and I will be sure to follow up!  You can also email us at inquiries {at} eleganceandsimplicity {dot} com.  Check back next week for more mother of the bride tips!

~Claudia Van Veen

]]> http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/what-to-give-when/feed/ 6 http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/announcements/mother-of-the-bride-weekly-guest-blogger/ http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/announcements/mother-of-the-bride-weekly-guest-blogger/#comments Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:01:27 +0000 Katie Martin http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/?p=1203 Announcing: The Weekly Mother-of-the-Bride (MOB) Guest Blogger!

Claudia Van Veen will be our weekly Guest Blogger!  Claudia will be giving you great Mother-of-the-Bride hints and tips every week!  If you are a mom, leave us a comment or a question! If you are a bride, tell your mom to check back every week!

My first book is coming out in March of 2010!

The Everything Mother of the Bride Book

As soon as I have the book cover back from the publisher , you will have the first look here on the blog!  We love our MOBs!

Why is this Guest Blogger the cutest ever?  She is my mom too!  She had to get ready for my wedding and my brother’s wedding all within 18 months of each other!  She is my inspiration and taught me the basics about throwing a fabulous affair!  She is an amazing writer and the life of the party!

My mom and I will be coming to a city near you, starting in April.   Pamper your mom with high tea at the Ritz Carlton and learn more about the book and ask questions about your wedding!  Stay tuned for the tour schedule!

This blog post also doubles as this week’s Cutie Patootie: My Mom!

Cheers to all MOBs!

~Katie Martin

You can have delicious and stylish food at your wedding that is locally sourced and supports good earth practices.  Right now, pumpkins, apples, and tomatoes are perfect for Fall menus – not only are they local, but they make for beautiful and colorful presentations  We encourage clients to pick seasonal items because they have a better chance of being sourced locally.  Check out our website to see more images!

~Danielle Shevitz, Occasions Caterers