My brand new book has made it to the warehouse for distribution to places like Amazon and Barnes and Noble!  I ordered a few to get them out to our favorite friends in the industry to review.  However, many of you have been wanting a signed copy for yourself.

I will put up pre-orders for my 1st book soon.  I expect to get my 1st shipment of books within this next week!

Soon I will be announcing the initial set of cities for my book tour which will include Eco-Beautiful Weddings seminars for wedding professionals!  Be sure to come back and vote for your city if you don’t see it on the list.  I will make room for a few extra cities on my calendar with enough votes.  Looking forward to meeting all of you in fantastic cities across the US and Canada!

Cheers!

]]> http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/announcements/the-everything-mother-of-the-bride-week/feed/ 2 http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/mother-of-the-bride-wednesdays-budget/ http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/wedding-planning/mother-of-the-bride-wednesdays-budget/#comments Wed, 06 Jan 2010 19:44:59 +0000 Katie Martin http://www.eleganceandsimplicity.com/blog/?p=1954 DREADED WORD:

BUDGET

or

WHO IS PAYING FOR WHAT

The old fashioned wedding where the mother and father of the bride pay for everything and the mother gets to choose most of the things is certainly not dead but we do live in a different world now.  Sometimes the bride (or groom) has a higher income than the mother or the father combined or perhaps she’s from a divorced family…where the mother has remarried and so has the father.  So, who to listen to and how to make everyone happy is a very stressful situation for your child!   Whether it ends up that we (mother & father) pay, they (the couple) pay,  they #2 (the in-laws-to-be),  the mother only, the father only or any other the multitude of combinations one could think up pays for this wonderful event, here’s your chance to be the best mom in the world .   If she/he hasn’t already asked you, suggest that you and she (and groom if she insists) meet or schedule a conference call to talk about who pays for what before too many lists are made.

If she lives in a different city/town or if you know you physically can’t meet a lot, it just might be the best thing in the world for both of you to invest in Skype.    Skype voice and video calling, IM and SMS are now available for your pc, laptop, blackberry, and more importantly – the video calls are free!  Of course you need to buy the equipment:

Webcam and a headset (if they are not already part of your laptop or PC’s hardware):

So, how are these ‘delicate’ conversations discussed and decided upon?  In all likelihood, your daughter will have already thought about this before you two speak.   If not, then prepare yourself.  Buy a book (of course, I’m a little bit prejudiced here).

Before you meet with her, have a discussion with your husband (and/or ex) about where the money is going to come from?

Savings account for her wedding?

Refinance the house?

Sell a piece of property?

Ask the Uncle?

Make a list of what you really, really want to pay for and listen to her about what she wants you to pay for.  If your budgets say ‘not possible’, then be upfront right then and there.  On the other hand, if you want to pay for more, then suggest that to her.  She will let you know if that suggestion is welcomed or ‘just not gonna happen’.

First thing everyone (brides and grooms, mothers and dads) needs to decide is the approximate date.  A wise mom will suggest they chose 3-4 dates (in case something cannot be canceled or a favored venue is booked).

The time of the year can sometimes influence the cost of parts of the wedding.

Then, will it be formal or informal, maximum number of guests and attendants, if any.  Is this a wedding at the magistrate’s office?  Family only?

Or the closest 300 friends of the couple and parents.

Brides friends, groom’s friends, their friends.

Bride’s parent’s friends (could be 2 couples involved here).

His parent’s friends (could be 2 couples involved here, too).

You and your daughter (step-daughter) have many decisions to make – so try to be as gracious as possible and really listen to what the bride and groom want (and his parents).  If something is really, really important for her to include in the plans…just mention that ‘it would make you so happy if they could ….’  But please, please try to prepare your mind before each and every meeting about the wedding to

Listen

Use diplomacy (“oh honey, that sounds so fab… but XYZ… – what would you two think of that”!).

Be prepared to guide if asked and be quiet if not asked. (Can’t tell you how many times I opened my mouth and clamped it shut – and it all worked out just fine!)  If an argument starts, back down…there will be another meeting and by then things might have changed.  The most important thing you can do is smile and genuine smiles break most barriers! After all of you determine what kind of budget you can work with, then you can settle down to have the fun of planning the most important day of your little girl’s life.

Congratulations!
~Claudia Van Veen

A few of us here at Elegance & Simplicity, Inc. are off traveling for the holidays.  We hope to still bring you a few more posts before the end of the year though. Sorry for the lack of posts here over the past few days, we have been prepping for many new things for 2010 for you!  Including the relaunch of our website incorporating our wonderful new logo!

I am actually just about to get on a plane to Florida to meet the wonderful Lara Casey of Southern Weddings Magazine.  I hope to bring back a few copies of the magazine – so be sure to pick up a copy when you stop by the office!

Here is a list of some major things for you to know for 2010!

1st – My 1st book, The Everything Mother of the Bride Book, 2nd Edition (an Adams Media Publication), will be coming out in February or March.  If you have not done so yet, please click on the big ‘ole sidebar jpeg of the cover of my book to the right.  Let my mom and I know why you have the best mother-of-the-bride (or mother-in-law to be or grandmother) to win $250 to go towards your wedding!  I can’t wait for my 1st book to hit bookshelves!  It will be the only mother of the bride book to talk about eco-friendly weddings and same-sex weddings.  Truly current, especially for DC area weddings since same-sex weddings are about to go legal in DC!  It is also easier to read and more inclusive – hard to explain, but will make more sense when you pick up a copy!  I have already gotten some great reviews from those who have gotten a sneak peek!  Can’t wait to share!  My mom typically posts about mother of the bride or groom issues every Wednesday – so check back every week moms!

2nd – We hope to post more content about the wedding that was featured in the Washingtonian.  They really only allow two pages worth of photos in their magazine per real wedding and there are so many more wedding goodies from Kate’s wedding that I cannot wait to share with you!    We also have an amazing feature in the new Bride and Bloom Magazine!  I also can’t wait for you to see our new listing in the Grace Ormonde Magazine!  Yippee!

3rd – I am in the final stretch of finishing my second book – The Everything Wedding Book, 4th Edition, which is another Adams Media publication. That book is set to hit bookshelves at the end of  2010!  So, this will be the reason why I will be “off to write” offline for the remainder of the year.   Then in January and February I will finish my 3rd book Eco-Beautiful Weddings!

4th – I am excited to let you know that we will be launching a website all about same-sex weddings here in the DC area.  There is a huge buzz being created around the world (literally) about same-sex weddings going legal in DC.  We will be hand-picking wedding planners to cake vendors that are gay-friendly and reviewed and approved by the nation’s leading gay wedding planner: Bernadette Coveney Smith of 14 Stories in Boston.  It is an exciting time in DC!

5th – We have had a fantastic year filled with exciting new things!  With over 40 staff members (and growing) serving brides and grooms for wedding planning and floral designs, we cannot wait to show you the new eco-couture and fashion-forward designs we have to offer for weddings in the DC area. There simply is no other wedding planning or floral design firm in the DC area that has the know-how and the passion for creating multi-faceted, multi-cultural, stylish and eco-couture events.   We are the  wedding industry’s leader in eco-friendly wedding design with the launch of our new magazine Eco-Beautiful Weddings.

The website houses our online magazine and blog.  While I am the editor-in-chief and publisher of the magazine, I will be taking on a select amount of clients every year to focus on greening their weddings and events along with helping other wedding professionals become green (or greener).  We have an amazing team of wedding planners and floral designers led by Tara Davis (aka “Katie Part 2″) and Keya Beale.  Tara leads our team of 6 weddings planners on staff and Keya leads our floral design team!  All wedding planners on staff are trained in floral designs as well.

I will have more announcements for you in January!  We have 3 new projects in the works!

Our staff strives to provide only the best in Washington, DC weddings and Eco-Beautiful Wedding Style!

Stay Tuned!

Have a Happy Holiday!

Cheers!

Katie Martin

“He’s got horrible teeth! Why hasn’t he gone to the dentist?”

Instead, you might say (in front of them both)  ”Boy, I think I’d better start working on getting these teeth whitened…maybe all of us should…just think of all the photos!…

…Wonder if the antibiotics (tetracycline) I’ve had to take are the reason my teeth have gotten so yellow? (You nor the groom smoke or ‘chew’ and you are wondering why his teeth are so yucky).  Wonder if I should have the dentist fix that gap I’ve been talking about for years!  And your dad’s teeth are horrible, too…

…Why don’t we see if we can go as a group and get a discount!”

Really, ask your dentist if he would do a group discount – some will.

What are your teeth whitening options & costs?

• Implants – we are talking money here! Time, as well –$1,250-$3,000 each, but the total cost can escalate to $15,000-$30,000 DentalResources.com.
• Crowns- (also called caps) cost $500-$3,000 a tooth
• Composite resin and porcelain veneers –  So, do you have bridges?  Then, as you probably are aware, with time your natural teeth change color from the bridge color.  With either of these permanent solutions, all your teeth will be the same color.  Traditional porcelain veneers are about .5 millimeters thick, and cost around $500-$1,100 each; the Lumineers® brand is.2 to .3mm thin (like a contact lens) and runs $700-$1,300
• Opalescence whitening cost: $500 (fronts of all teeth)
• Britesmile whitening cost: At dental offices, prices vary around the country. At BriteSmile centers, $600; $399, if payment is made in advance
• Drugstore – Toothpaste maker’s whitening strips - $23 – $46 (depending on how yellow they are)
• If money is a factor and you want to ‘go green’ about the yellow – then here’s a little tip:   Make your own whitener at home (Click here)l Cost?  $2-$5

Ok – so this takes care of the teeth issue and brides really do need to have beautiful white teeth – they are the star of the party and everyone will be looking at their smile.  But his teeth are important too!

(And wouldn’t it be nice to hear “she gets her smile from her mother”!)

Don’t forget to sign into our blog post about the $250 giveaway in March- let us know why your mom is the best!  Click here!

Happy Holidays,

Claudia Van Veen

I just got the jpeg from my publisher today for my first book cover! The Everything Mother of the Bride Book, 2nd Edition!  I am thrilled to share the cover with my avid blog readers first!  Well, my publicist did tweet about it first – sorry!  She’s my publicist – what can I say?  We are pretty excited over here!

Your emails have been so supportive. I just wanted to to send a big thanks to all of you!

So…I thought I would announce my first blog contest with this book cover announcement!!!!!!

Make a comment here about why your mom is the best mother of the bride.   The best comment (judging based on what my mom and I think) will get the following:

1. A signed copy of my book
2. $250 to go towards to your wedding budget

We have some time before my book gets here – so I am going to leave the contest open until March 15th.  Spread the word and start making comments. Good Luck!

When you leave a comment, I automatically have access to your email address – so be careful to write the right email address when asked so I can contact you if you win.

Stay tuned for Wednesday’s post!  If you haven’t heard or seen:  Every Wednesday my mom (Claudia Van Veen) comes on my blog and has a weekly Mother of the Bride Guest Post!  Super helpful for any mom prepping for a wedding.

Happy Planning!

~Katie Martin

UPDATE:  Thank you for all your comments!  We found our winner!

Claudia Van Veen will be our weekly Guest Blogger!  Claudia will be giving you great Mother-of-the-Bride hints and tips every week!  If you are a mom, leave us a comment or a question! If you are a bride, tell your mom to check back every week!

My first book is coming out in March of 2010!

The Everything Mother of the Bride Book

As soon as I have the book cover back from the publisher , you will have the first look here on the blog!  We love our MOBs!

Why is this Guest Blogger the cutest ever?  She is my mom too!  She had to get ready for my wedding and my brother’s wedding all within 18 months of each other!  She is my inspiration and taught me the basics about throwing a fabulous affair!  She is an amazing writer and the life of the party!

My mom and I will be coming to a city near you, starting in April.   Pamper your mom with high tea at the Ritz Carlton and learn more about the book and ask questions about your wedding!  Stay tuned for the tour schedule!

This blog post also doubles as this week’s Cutie Patootie: My Mom!

Cheers to all MOBs!

~Katie Martin

I am sending out a request to all of the MOBS out there that would like to tell me what they have learned throughout the wedding planning process!

If you are at the beginning stages:

• What frightens you most?
• Are you wanting more or less control over the bride or grooms choices?
• What are you most excited about?