By Chris Easter of TheManRegistry.com

Worried because you’re feeling nervous as the big day approaches? Don’t freak out. Getting some sort of cold feet before the wedding is completely normal. You after, after all, getting ready to take the biggest step in your life

The most common type of pre-wedding jitters generally occurs one week before the wedding day. This is very common, and there can be several causes, ranging from last-minute fear of commitment, as well as realizing the seriousness that goes along with this step in life. Once you’re married, you can’t just get in a fight one night and decide to call it quits. (Actually, you can, but it’s very expensive and can be very embarrassing for you and your spouse).

By this point, you should know your fiance well and have gone through some type of marriage prep classes. If you’ve made it this far, the real fears probably either stem from standing up in front of all of your friends and family during the wedding ceremony or worrying about how your bride will react if things don’t go exactly as planned. So how can you get past these feelings? It’s a good idea to take some time for yourself the week of your wedding. Whether you like to golf, smoke cigars or go to the ball game, make a point to do something fun with your groomsmen or best man to get your mind off of the big day. So much time is put into this day, but most likely, everything probably won’t work out exactly the way it was planned. And that’s OK. If your nerves are still bothering you, talk to your best man, a friend or a close family member to help you through it.

On the other hand, if you get cold feet a month or two before the wedding, you should really ask yourself why you’re stressing. Don’t worry; it may just be natural groom stress from the planning, but it could also be a sign that things may not be quite as great as you first thought. All couples go through ups and downs when planning their wedding. You just need to learn to roll with the punches, but at the same time, you need to realize that this is the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. If you think it’s more than just nerves, there are several things that could help. First, if you haven’t already done so, go to some marriage preparation classes. These aren’t nearly as fun as watching any sporting event (including underwater basket-weaving), but they can prove to be very beneficial, and in some cases, bring some very important conversations to light between you and your bride. If you’re still unsure about things, try going to a therapist or seeing a clergy member. You can either do this together or alone. This is the time to expose any problems you may have, and discussing these issues with a professional can be very helpful. But most likely, if you’ve gotten this far, you know your fiancée well and are just going through normal feelings.

The main to remember is that virtually every groom (and bride, for that matter) will get some type of cold feet before the wedding. Just make sure you’re both prepared for this step, and most importantly, take some time to relax during the week of the wedding. If there’s still any doubt, talk to each other or seek the help of friends, family or a professional.

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Chris Easter is co-founder of TheManRegistry.com – the leading source on the web for groom gifts. The site also offers a wealth of content aimed at helping men survive the wedding planning process. Chris is also the co-host of the ‘That Wedding Show‘ podcast which is a joint venture between The Man Registry and Aisledash.com

by chris easter of themanregistry.com

It’s no secret that grooms are becoming more and more involved in the planning of the big day. The emergence of many popular groom blogs as well as wedding retailers beginning to specifically target men is evidence that grooms are here to stay. I’ve put together five ways that grooms can take wedding planning to the next level (and earn major points from the bride-to-be).

Exceed expectations – We all know the standard groom duties of planning the rehearsal dinner, paying for the honeymoon, booking transportation etc. Surprise her by getting involved in areas that maybe aren’t traditionally “manly.” Help design the invitation or coordinate colors. It will probably surprise you just how much you enjoy it!

De-stress – You’re surely familiar with the concept of “Bridezilla.” While the TV shows may embellish a bit, it’s a fact that the stress from planning can take a toll on the bride. One way that the groom can help out is getting her mind off of wedding planning (even if for just a night). Take her out to dinner or surprise her with a home cooked meal. The only rule: no wedding talk.

Talk - This may seem basic, but it’s amazing how many guys refuse to discuss wedding planning with their fiance. I know the stuff isn’t always mind-blowing, but the simple fact is that you need to be prepared for the biggest day of your life. My recommendation is to set aside 2-3 nights per week where wedding planning status is discussed for an hour. That doesn’t sound too painful, does it?

Take charge with vendors – If you’re lucky, you won’t have any issues when dealing with your vendors. However, this portion of planning doesn’t always go perfectly. If you notice your bride becoming exceedingly frustrated or angry with a specific vendor, step in and see if cooler heads can’t prevail.

Surprise her – Do something completely unexpected. Tell her that you’re saving money and can only afford to stay at a so-so hotel on the wedding night… and then surprise her with reservations at a 5-star luxury destination. Get the picture?  That’s just one idea. You know your bride better than anyone. Give her a wedding memory that she won’t ever forget!

…speaking of Ultimate Grooms, we’re running a major contest over at The Man Registry searching for America’s Top Groom. The contest is open to engaged men and woman in the US and offers an insane prize pack. We’ll even let you enter simply by leaving a comment at the bottom of this blog post!

Brides – tell us why your grooms is a step above the rest and deserves to be named the Ultimate Groom

Grooms – tell us how you’ve gotten involved and are leaving a personalized mark on the planning of your wedding

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Chris Easter is co-founder of TheManRegistry.com  – the leading online resource for engaged men. The site offers a unique wedding registry for men, unique groomsmen gifts and a wealth of content aimed at helping men make it through the wedding planning process in one piece. You can check out The Man Registry on Twitter and Facebook.

by guest blogger chris easter of themanregistry.com

The days of grooms being stereotyped as bumbling idiots are long gone. Today’s grooms are well-informed and involved when it comes to wedding planning.  Whether it’s coordinating wedding day attire, planning a groom-friendly wedding shower, or designing invitations for the rehearsal dinner, the modern groom is a far cry from the “leave me out of this”-minded man-child  whose only duty was to show up and smile for photos.

The groom’s side of the wedding has evolved into an arena for the man to leave his own personal mark on the planning of the wedding. Here are The Man Registry’s top 10 list of things every groom (and his  bride-to-be) should keep in mind while planning the big day.

10. Marriage license: Don’t wait until the last minute

It seems so simple. All you have to do is go to the courthouse, answer some questions, and be presented with your marriage license. Not so fast. You need to be familiar with your state’s requirements and waiting periods.  Most importantly, don’t wait until the last minute! This may seem like a minor last-minute item on the to-do list, but without it you can’t legally be married.

9. Writing vows: Leave a personal mark on the ceremony

Many of today’s grooms are leaving the stock vows behind and penning their own unique commitment words for the bride. If you’ve decided to go this route, remember to include your intentions for marriage, what marriage and commitment means to you, and state the promises  you intend to keep.

8. Wedding bands: When and what to look for

Just what a guy wants. He’s already shelled out for an engagement ring and now he has to make another trip back to the jeweler to select weddings bands.  Do some research beforehand and decide if you’ll be looking for matching bands or something unique. It’s recommended to have the bands picked out a minimum of three months in advance of the wedding. This leaves time for them to be ordered, shipped, and re-sized, if needed.

7. The wedding party: Whom to select

Most grooms have a solid gut feeling on whom they’ll select as their Best Man. This is usually a brother or other life-long friend. It’s considered courtesy to include your soon-to-be brother in laws in the wedding party as well. Depending on how many groomsmen/bridesmaids there will be, there’s always room for more friends to serve as ushers. A common rule of thumb to remember is one usher per 50 guests.

6. Bachelor Party: It’s not just about beer anymore

When you heard the words bachelor party, common thoughts have always been bars, beer, and more beer. This isn’t necessarily the case today. Adventure and destination bachelor parties are all the rage for today’s weddings. Many grooms are trading in visits to the night clubs for golf outings, camping trips, and even sky-diving.  Some couples are even having joint bachelor/bachelorette weekends that involve a weekend trip to wine country or a beach house.

5. Wedding day attire: Stay on top of things

What the groom and groomsmen wear on the wedding day is usually coordinated with the wedding colors and bridesmaids’ dresses. Men who are taking an active role in the selection of attire should think about whether they want a tux or suit, the style and color, and whether they’re renting or buying. Arranging tuxedo rental can be tricky, especially if you have a large wedding party. You need to make sure everyone is measured and picks up their tuxes on time. The last thing you want is one of your groomsmen showing up in a tux that doesn’t fit (or not showing up in a tux at all). It’s also a courtesy for the groom to pick up the cost of the tux rental for the fathers.

4. Groomsmen gifts: Flask, cuff links, or money clip?

If you’ve ever been a member of a wedding party, then you know it’s standard for the groom to present his attendants with a gift to thank them for being a part of the big day. Many grooms opt for a practical, engraved gift that can be put to use (think business card holder, cuff links, or watch). However, just as the groom’s roles in wedding planning have evolved, so have groomsmen gifts. Creativity is key for men today as popular gifts have become tickets to sporting events, bottles of aged wine, and even weekend excursions (with the groom footing the bill).

3. Wedding speeches: Toasting with class

One of the scariest things for the groom is to stand up in front of friends and family and toast his new wife.  Statistics say that public speaking is the No. 1 fear of Americans (even beating out death)! One of the best ways to quash the nerves is to apply the age-old adage of practice, practice, practice. Here’s a quick guide for preparing for a successful toast:

·        Thank everyone for attending.

·        Keep humor to a minimum (we all know the gut-busting toasts are reserved for the best man).

·        Thank your wedding party and both sets of parents for their support on the special day.

·        Close with words directed at your new wife. We can’t tell you what to say, but say it from the heart (obviously).

2. The groom’s cake: A cake that’s all about the groom

Yes, you read that correctly. The groom’s cake is a themed wedding dessert that’s selected and paid for by the groom and his family. The theme is generally styled after a major interest or hobby in the groom’s life.  Some examples include a favorite sports team logo or a past-time such as fishing, fixing up cars, or traveling. The groom’s cake is often served at the reception along with the main wedding cake (just make sure it’s smaller in stature than the main cake), but can also be served for dessert at the rehearsal dinner.

1. Groom showers: In the name of equality

It’s definitely not your parents wedding shower. Instead of place settings, bath towels, and platters, the gifts given at a groom-friendly shower are power tools, speakers, and BBQ equipment. It’s become common for a couple to have at least one couples or “man” shower during their engagement. Popular shower themes include backyard and garden, home improvement, and bar and grill. The best part: These are gifts that both the groom and bride will enjoy.

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Chris Easter is co-founder of TheManRegistry.com – the leading online resource for engaged men. The site offers a unique wedding registry for men, groomsmen gift ideas and a wealth of content aimed at helping men make it through the wedding planning process in one piece. You can check out The Man Registry on Twitter and Facebook.